Your married friends worry. Your mother shakes her head. Your guy friend told you that the problem is you’re too picky. Lots of well-meaning people want to save you from that unfortunate condition of ::dun dun dun:: being unmarried. And some days you might agree with them, it would be nice…you might think. But then, you have one of those moments when being single is the farthest thing from unfortunate, when in fact, being single feels pretty fantastic.
This week, in celebration of all those moments, each member of The Spinsters Union will bring you her five reasons why it’s great to be single.
To start off, my top five:
1. The Quiet.
I can’t get enough of it. Quiet in the morning. Quiet in the evening. Quiet whenever and wherever I want it. You can keep your noisy households, married ladies, and I’m keep my quiet one.
2. Binge watching The Golden Girls.
I flipped to The Golden Girls the other night and my boyfriend frowned deeply. But that’s okay because there’s plenty of nights when it’s just me, Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche, and Rose. You know you have it too: that show you only tell certain people you love for fear that your taste will be called into question. Generally, if someone asks me what my favorite television shows are, I’ll start in on the brilliance of the fourth season of The Wire. I might tell you that Breaking Bad, although not in my top ten favorite shows may be the most perfect character development arc I’ve ever seen television achieve. Basically, I’ll give you all of the smartest answers I can, but, I may not answer from my gut. On my own, in my singleness, when I’m not trying to impress anyone, I will always sing along to the theme song of The Golden Girls comes on, laugh at every bawdy joke about Blanche’s sex life or Rose’s naivete and I will do it all without shame.
3. Talking to myself.
I know. You’re thinking, but wouldn’t it better if you actually had someone there to talk to? Other people are good. I like other people. But it is also important to be able to be your own counsel. Other people’s ideas and opinions are great and advice can steer you in a better direction than you set out on, but it is also powerful to be able to know your own mind. Sometimes, my mind needs a good talking to. I talk through the important conversations I need to have, ones with my boss or my mother. Then, I also rewrite some conversations, you know when I wish I’d said the very thing that I didn’t. It’s secret single behavior I used to worry about, but now there’s good evidence that I’ve been doing the right thing all along.
4. Air conditioners off and lights out.
My parents live in a world where your eyes go bad if you don’t have enough light on and where any temperature above 75 calls for air conditioning. But, I like a darker room and I like a window breeze. When they come to visit me or I have guests or my significant other over, I adjust my space for them: more lights or fewer, more air or less. I try to be a good host, to make them as comfortable as possible in my space. But when I’m all alone it’s only my comfort that matters and if that’s all the lights off and every window open, there’s no one to say otherwise.
5. Tweezing chin hairs.
Ok, not specifically being able to tweeze them. I wish they would go away forever without having to pay get them lasered off. But alas, past thirty-five, my chin has had ideas of its own. So, every once in a while, I have to tweeze those suckers. Or put on a sulfur mask (which smells awful but does great things for my skin). Or buff, exfoliate, or shave any number of areas on my body. I’ve never been that much of a makeup junkie, but I love a good beauty product, Sephora and Ulta can attest to this. And I love being able to test out a new product all alone on a night in, right before I settle in to watch The Golden Girls and give myself a good talking to on the commercials.
Why do you love being single?